Make 'em say UGGGHH..... NOW STOP!!

Okay everyone....I've been on a roll this week with my blogs (recommend me to your friends).... So those of you who know me, know that I recently decided to cut my cable off and begin "Cable Detoxification". TV was beginning to just be waaaay too much. Too many crappy shows, too many negative images, and too much money. So randomly one afternoon, I unhooked my cable cord, grabbed a box, and told Time Warner to have a good day! And recently I was just given a good reason to do so.

Well it appears that Americas favorite dancing No Limit Soldier has decided to launch a new TV network: BBTV(Better Black TeleVision). Such a creative name! *insert sarcastic remark here* So I ask myself... "Self.... .who in da HELL approved such an asinine idea? and FURTHERMORE.... what da hell kinda shows are you going to have?" So I have decided to come up with a few ideas for show which would be appropriate for his new network:

• Mama Mia's Southern Greased Cuisine- How many of you all remember No Limit's "1st Lady" Mia X. Well she's back with a new agenda. Instead of serving up hot raunchy lyrics, she's serving up Hot Steamy, Freak Hoe Gumbo (a secret family recipe). Just make sure you "bounce yo knees and touch yo elbows" when you eat it....Enhances its succulent flavor.
• Danger: TRU Life.... I'm a broke prisoner!- Okay you know I had to pick on Mystical, who is currently in Jail for raping his hair braider and for tax evasion. Lets follow him around jail and let him perform a Jail Cell EXCLUSIVE (**Insert annoying DJ Clue sound off**) so he can help pay his debt.
• Romeo Shakespeare's.. I WANNA BE MADE... into a real rapper!- So we all know how Master P has pretty much auctioned off his son to the world so he can make money for the label. Why don't we help out his deteriorating music career and help him be a real rapper... that way he won't have to pretend he's a thug. We can give him a few professional tips on how to be a "Supreme Lyricist". But while we are at it.... Let's invite several other potential candidates who would benefit from this gracious experience. Listed below are a few potential folks who should be invited to the casting call:
  --- Bow Wow- Just because you drop the "lil" doesn't make you a real rapper!
  --- Chance & Real- New York can't help her own career, let alone yours!
  --- Dylan- Who are the 5 worst rappers alive... DYLAN, DYLAN, DYLAN, DYLAN, DYLAN....... cuz u spit wack $#!%
  --- Ja' Rule- Your career is MURDAAAA!!!!
  --- Vanilla Ice- As an Alpha, I thank you for your only important single and a reason to stroll, but your lyrical skills and shinny suits weren't da bizness!
  --- Noreaga- You gets NO love for making an ENTIRE song about WHAT! have your agent call me IMMEDIATELY.
  --- I am still taking nominations for others. email I_spit_hot_fire@gmail.com
  
• Dancing with the Coons- Since our favorite Thug turned Conscience No N-word using rapper is looking for crossover appeal..... Let's allow him to invite 15 white celebrities and teach him how to do today's latest dances. I.e. Supaman, Soulja Boi, Crank that _____, Roy, and any other dumb ass dance thats out here these days. Who ever can coon the longest wins a LIFETIME supply of Murray's hair promanade, Red Kool-aid, and Watermelon seeds!!

I think this new lineup will be sure to set us back 350 years! Good job Percy!